~Ms-internet-stalker

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I found the key.

Wed Jul 1, 2009, 6:45 AM

I've been restless, under the surface, for so long. I've been itching for something and it feels like all this shit is spinning around me and none of it has direction, except that it's spinning, or at least, making me feel like it. Maybe I'm the one who's spinning. I don't know.

I wanna fuck something up. I want to screw my life away and sell my soul for fifty cents because that's way better than a thousand bucks for a kiss. I want to set fire to something, something real, substantial. Something I can hearseetaste. Something bigger than a stupid fucking regret. Something that I'll miss. Something that I won't miss. Maybe that's my teenager hormones driving me wild. Maybe that's from being stuck in a home both filled and void of love. Maybe that's because I constantly get the underwhelming sense of being alone. Empty. And I want it to fucking burn.

8 Comments

Mood: Neutral
Listening to: Does it matter?
Reading: hate-sex

Devious Comments

~~love 0 0~~

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

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~Blue-Eyed-Snidget Jul 1, 2009, 1:00:45 PM

Mhm. Burn the world down and dance in its ashes.

--

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~Sirenette Jul 1, 2009, 6:15:41 PM

Eh. World deserves to burn, just not all of the people in it.

I'm a little shaky on this one, you'll have to explain just a bit further.
Love you..

--
It is cheesed with power, with the morality of which it goes mad. Alot of people became dogs, having tied to the chain: you happy happy there?

~Away-From-Me Jul 16, 2009, 3:53:46 PM

I really liked this journal, which is weird of me, but go with it. It makes me imagine a person who wants more than anything to feel something real, something big, and all these other things are happening but they just don't matter. Or maybe that's how I felt when I read it and it's not you at all, meh.
I hope things have changed for you.

--

Because nothing says love like your very own coffeemachine.

Ask me about barnacles, you won't regret it. (sometimes, it is what you've got, not just where you stick it.)

~DecembersDemon Jul 16, 2009, 8:48:45 PM

I don't know why, but this made me want to turn on loud music and dance.and pretend like the louder the music, the louder the meaning.
I really like it.... and that may be a bad thing, considering the stuffing that went into it.
But anyway...
I know what you mean.
"Maybe I'm the one that's spinning. I don't know."
bah, fucking eloquent.

--
why, team Emmet of course.

~Ms-internet-stalker Jul 17, 2009, 10:01:26 AM

Haha. I don't know why, but your comment made me very happy. And I'm glad you want to do that- it's a good way with dealing with things. I've figured out that the only way to be happy and satisfied is to live. Sitting around and wasting my time doing nothing and feeling nothing is what makes me feel terrible. Being alive- that's really all a person needs. Dancing is suggested, however. ;D

--
"My queerness, is not a vice, is not deliberate, and harms no one."- Natalie Barney

--
She never danced in the rain, though she had always wanted to. Problem was, she didn't know how.
--

It happens. Get over it.

~Ms-internet-stalker Jul 17, 2009, 10:01:49 AM

*hugs*
You always hit the mark, y'know.

--
"My queerness, is not a vice, is not deliberate, and harms no one."- Natalie Barney

--
She never danced in the rain, though she had always wanted to. Problem was, she didn't know how.
--

It happens. Get over it.

~DecembersDemon Jul 19, 2009, 2:54:09 PM

I concur.
dancing is.... I don't know. It's just a great way to feel better. Dance around the house for no reason, and it's easier to think, and look at things in a different light.